Thai Bar Girls opening thought: there is a well known, but little understood, trick in Thailand that is so good you could almost describe it as the perfect illusion. I’m not talking about the parlour tricks performed by household names in the magic profession; what I’m talking about requires years of dedication, an eye for detail, and total commitment to an extent never before seen. Surprising then that it has been mastered by a whole section of Thai society!
I'm not talking about the well known Pattaya jet-ski scam where tourist
customers get charged for causing damage to the jet-ski that was there
all along.... that’s child's play in comparison. I'm not talking about
the inevitable lottery win that gets you some free accommodation in a
hotel that is miles away from anywhere only to find out, on arrival,
that you must pay extortionate prices for the hotel food, amenities and
so on! That one is laughable in comparison.
No, I'm talking about the time honoured truly sublime expertise with which the Thai bar girls can seemingly effortlessly work their magic and turn an otherwise sensible middle-aged farang (foreigner) tourist into an adoring boyfriend or husband! Needless to say, such relationships are often built on truly awful foundations if a successful long-term romance is the goal. They are often the result of a pairing between a girl met in a tourist destination and a Western man that is new to the ways of the tourist focused bar scene in Pattaya, Phuket, Bangkok and similar places.
You might be wondering why I describe this as a trick. In truth, Thai bar girls are not always seeking to lull foreigners into a web of deceit about their, not entirely genuine, affection. Some perfectly happy relationships are formed in Thailand between Westerners and Thai girls after a holiday romance. That is exactly the problem! If you start to get emotionally attached to a girl that you meet in a bar, your better judgement will get pushed aside because you’ll know that, however rare they are, success stories can happen.
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There really is no way of knowing when a bar girl is being genuine and when she is not, unless you catch her red-handed in a lie. It is a problem that has caused untold grief to many an unsuspecting farang. There is even an exclusive farang club in Thailand called the 'Pattaya flying club'. The flying club has nothing to do with aviation, but quite a lot to do with sky-diving off high-rise balconies to a quick, sharp, and sudden transition into the afterlife! Such things really do happen and with alarming frequency once the truth comes out. The blame that can be apportioned to Pattaya girls in these cases varies, but some have even been directly involved in disposing of their husbands!
Don't allow yourself to become another statistic; Thai bar girls are the stuff of dreams if you want to have a fantastic holiday romance that you will remember for a lifetime. It is quite another thing if you are hoping to start a new life with a girl that is typically half your age, from a completely different culture, from a financially deprived background, with little education, and a wider family to support. In the vast majority of cases, long-term relationships that are built on these foundations don't turn out well. Fortunes are lost, family and friends are left behind, and when things turn out badly, there is usually a good slice of humiliation thrown into the mix. There are lots of stories on the net about how easy it is to wander off the reservation when a beautiful young Thai lady starts her mating calls, here is a typical example.
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If you are in a bar in Pattaya or somewhere similar and you look like
you are enjoying yourself, you will be considered to be good company by Thai bar girls. They will be full of chatter and smiles; they will
genuinely enjoy your company. They will accompany you wherever you want
to go, look after your needs, make sure you don't get over-charged, and
show you the best bars, restaurants, discos, concerts, events and so on.
They will be the perfect travel companions, but when it comes to
lasting romantic relationships…. don’t even consider it!
That does raise the question of what sort of relationship is appropriate, and for that the issue of morality with regard to prostitution raises its head. I make no judgements at all on that score, I believe it to be a complicated issue and not easily resolved from a western viewpoint because Thai bar girls are not western, and they tend to have very different values. With that said, you should be aware that prostitution is actually illegal in Thailand, so there at least you have some clarity. As for the rest, as they say in Thailand, it's up to you.
One final point, if all you see in Thailand are the naught tourist areas, you'll end up with a very warped idea about regular Thai attitudes about sex, so click the link if you want to know something about mainstream thoughts on that issue.
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Thailand Beer Bar Girls – Some first-time visitors to the land of smiles show a great deal of wisdom in their dealings with Thai bar girls in the main tourist hotspots such as Pattaya, Patong, Patpong and the rest; they seem immune to the charms of these girls. However, there are also lots of first-time visitors that are anything but immune, in fact I’d say that a strong majority of first timers that get attached to a bar girl end up getting emotionally attached to some extent. It is extremely common and it is a seriously bad idea. For an idea of the kind of charms that these ladies have, this page describes the typical behaviour that you can expect. It’s not all for show, a minority of the girls get genuinely attached too, and that’s a big part of the problem!
Thai Gogo Bar Girls – Whilst there is every likelihood that you will form some sort of emotional attachment with a beer bar girl, should you get attached at all, it is thankfully less likely that you will find yourself in a relationship with a gogo girl. There are some obvious reasons for this, given the nature of her work, but there are still a significant number of guys that do get emotionally attached. The consequences of this are virtually guaranteed to bring regrets; the girls that work in these places are often undeniably beautiful, but you need to understand that any girl working in a gogo bar is likely to have had a number of years exposure to bar work and that inevitably comes at a cost in terms of the girls’ ability to commit to any relationship… DON’T get involved!
Thai Nightclub Girls – with Thai nightclubs you can have a lot of fun and you’ll certainly not struggle to find plenty of ladies that are eager to talk to you. Some of those ladies will be genuine and lovely, some of them will be less so. Your chances of meeting the former are greatly increased if you can find a nightclub that serves the Thai community rather than the tourist community. Find one of those and you’ll probably have discovered a better class of patron compared to the nightclubs in the tourist areas. The tourist focused nightclubs are still really good places to have some fun, but the girls that go there are usually quite similar to Thai bar girls regarding their intentions. That said, you can meet some very beautiful girls there, University educated, with decent English and relatively trustworthy.
Thai Street Girls; don’t even consider it! – Okay, it is possible that whilst in Thailand you might meet a lovely girl on the street and end up living with her happily ever after.... But, if the girl has been hanging around on the street I think we all know what she is up to! I considered whether or not to write this page at all given that this section is aimed at discouraging emotional attachment; it seems a little unnecessary to state the obvious this time. Never the less, I decided to include because in this particular case I wanted to advise you to steer clear of these ladies altogether. I don’t like to be a party-pooper, but these ladies come with extra risks beyond what you get with Thai bar girls; many a visitor has fallen victim to theft, drugging and all sorts of mishaps. There really is no need to risk these dangers.
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